You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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