her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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