We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
