Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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