My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
