Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
