Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
