I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
