The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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