I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
