how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
