Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize