I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
