Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
