His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry about my life...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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