I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
