All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
