just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
