physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's never too late to be topless.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
