drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
