I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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