It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize