I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
