I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im six kinds of drunk right now
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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