Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
