so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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