Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
