she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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