I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i can't believe i had my finger in that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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