Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I want to fling myself into the sun
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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