Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
