If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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