Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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