i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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