you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
