Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
