I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Someone came in the potted fern
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
