Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
