i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We are all done wearing pants today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
