So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
