overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
They are going to name an STD after you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
