CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
high people should be assigned attendants
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
