Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
