Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
