Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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