his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
