is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
