Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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