Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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