dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
