Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
