Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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