Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
