your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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