Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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