i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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