I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
