But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize